Thursday, June 21, 2012

BLT - Bullshit, Lies and Treachery

Originally posted February 17, 2012
You ready?” The waitress barked. Hello, my name is Macy said her nametag. A cute, bubbly name that did not fit the big-boned, gum-chewing waitress poised at the end of the table ready to take our order. Scolding my judgment, I snapped the large rubber bracelet around my wrist.
Eddie grinned his toothy smile. The type of smile that pulled you in, gave him his way every time. “Two BLT’s, two cokes and pour a little magic into those glasses.” He handed her a five dollar bill.
Macy stared. He smiled again. “I know Don is working the grills. Saw his truck out back. He‘s the magic man.”
“Whatever,” Macy turned to leave.
“Wait,” I called out. “Can you just bring me a water?”
Eddie wouldn’t allow an answer. He held up his hand, shook his head and motioned for her to scram.
“You don’t like them BLT’s anymore?” He smacked his lips. “Only better ones were down in Louisiana.”
I moved carefully in this verbal boxing ring choosing my words. One wrong word, phrase and I would be up against the ropes. “With the guacamole in the middle? I should never have worn Sarah’s shirt that night. Damn sauce oozed all down the front. I do remember you liked taking it off later.”
I flirted. I hated using sex to manipulate Eddie. Eddie leaned back against the vinyl booth, the pressure of his back causing the small cracks in the vinyl to split just a little more. I wondered when the cracks would become irreparable.
“Good thing ain’t no guacamole here. You sure as shit don’t need that. Starting to look pregnant again. Bad enough I had to see you fat for the real thing. Don’t need you to look like that just for fun.”
I fingered the bracelet. Pulling it back just enough to see the scabby wound, minor compared to other lacerations but more dangerous because Eddie had used a razor. Bitch, I can make this end now, but today is your lucky day.
Fat? My body, not to mention my soul, had been starved for so long that I was wasting day by day. Concealer from the cosmetics counter couldn’t hide the deep purple under my eyes. Denied the ability to leave the house whenever I wanted, my skin was pale from lack of sunlight. I spent so much time in darkened rooms because of Eddie’s paranoia that the large sunglasses I wore when I was allowed to leave were sometimes to hide trauma, but also because the sunlight hurt. I had become a vampire devoid of humanity.

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